Hey fam!
Hopefully, the title of this post caught your attention. My blogs for the next few days will dive into different forms of hurt. Yesterday I tackled "church hurt" and today I am tackling hurt in our friendships. Thus explaining my title, "From BFF to WTF" or "From Best Friends Forever to Where's The Friendship?". I think that it is easy to cop out of friendships with easy explanations such as: "Friends come and go." And while this statement is true, it is critical that we redefine what friendship looks like.We must challenge ourselves to have a clear understanding of what we are getting into when we chose to be/have friends. As a young person, I have had my share of "BFF to WTF" moments and have found the following to be true:
The Problems:
1.Friendships usually fail because of some form of hurt. Hurt looks differently for everyone and comes is a variety of forms.
2. Often times we do not allow ourselves to see past the hurt in our friendships. I am not suggesting that one stay in friendship with someone who consistently hurts them. However, I am suggesting that we strive to see our friends as Jesus does and that we learn to forgive in our friendships. Don't forget all of the times a friend has helped bring healing, joy and love to your because of the one time they hurt you.
3. We are selfish. We are often in friendships for our own interest, which is wrong from the start(Philippians 2:3). The second we feel pain or hurt we flee, not even taking the opportunity to fully analyze the situation.
The Solution: CHRIST. POINT BLANK. PERIOD.
I know you expected another list, but it is not necessary. Christ sets an example of what a friend should be. Furthermore, He is the best friend we will ever have and he extends his friendship to us each and every day. . Consider how much we hurt Christ with our sins and even mistrust. Consider how He continues to love is despite anything we have done or will do.We must look to Him in all things, especially our friendships
My upcoming blog(s) will focus on some specific friendship hurts and on ways to improve and strengthen our friendships as a whole. Until then, I encourage you to take a look at the friendships you have. Ask yourself, "What kind of friend am I really?"
Peace & Love,
Brittany
***Comments and feedback appreciated. Are there any specific friendship topics you would like to see on the blog?***
Monday, March 4, 2013
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Church Hurts!
Hey fam!
I hope this post finds you doing well and enjoying this beautiful Sunday. I would like to tackle the subject of the church and how it sometimes causes us to be hurt. Please realize that this subject is very complex and I am only expressing my opinion.
For about the past six months, I have been searching for a church home. The search has been off and on and quite a tedious journey. I was raised in the church and about a year ago God worked on my heart and delivered me from being caught up in religion. Prior to my deliverance, I was just going through the motions. I went to church EVERY Sunday, sat in the third row, studied, memorized scriptures, sat still and quiet, never "caught the spirit", never asked or expressed my needs/prayers publicly,etc. This all left me feeling so trapped and unfilled.Still, I did it Sunday after Sunday, partly because it was all I knew and partly because of my "church hurt". Hurt that came from stares, looks, expectations, and so on and so forth.
We must realize that pain and hurt are inevitable, even within our churches. We do however serve a God who can redeem us from our "church hurt", one who can guide us and lead us into and era of churches that heal more and hurt less. Often times we run from the painful things in life. Think about it, you don't rush to the doctor to get a shot or get excited at the thought of losing a loved one. This is especially the case with "church hurt". I must admit that running was an original thought of mine along with questions like: "Why are God's people treating me this way?" and even "Where are you God?" Thankfully, God came to my rescue and redefined my definition of church, while reminding me that His grace is sufficient even through the pains and hurts sometimes inflicted at church. Here are a few things to consider about "church hurt":
1. The church is a hospital (sick room) full of imperfect people who serve a perfect God. Sometimes our own sickness(sinfulness) causes us to inflict pain on our brothers and sisters in Christ. We have all sinned and fallen short of His glory(Romans 3:23).
2. We cannot allow our pain to drive us away from the church. We are called to live in community with other believers. It is unhealthy for us not to be in communion with like-minded people striving to serve our God(Acts 2:42). How will we ever receive care if we never go to the hospital?
3. No church is perfect AND it is unhealthy for us to be apart of churches that are not constantly striving to improve in every aspect. In other words, find a church that fits you, where you can grow, and that works through hurts as a community.
4. Our "church hurt" does not reflect how God feels about us as His children! That being said, we cannot let the imperfection of man and our churches drive us away from our God.
5. We cannot chose who and what to forgive. Forgiveness is definitely a "Just Do It" type of thing. Why? Because we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven(Matthew 6:14). Believe it or not this applies to our "church hurt" as well. We forgive because we love The Lord and trust His commandments, not out of weakness or anything of that matter.
6. Our "church hurt" is not going away, but there is hope! Problems and hurt have been around since the early churches(see 1 Corinthians) and they will be around until the end of time. Hope is found in our Lord who has given us the power to overcome through Him(John 16:33).
7.God uses our "church hurt" to remind us of our brokenness. It is an opportunity for us to trust and rely on Him, to draw closer.
We all have had our share of "church hurt", some greater than others. I pray that you allow God to use yours to draw you closer to Him. Our God is so faithful and He never leaves our side, even when we are facing the pain,isolation, and fear of the church!
Peace & Love,
Brittany
I hope this post finds you doing well and enjoying this beautiful Sunday. I would like to tackle the subject of the church and how it sometimes causes us to be hurt. Please realize that this subject is very complex and I am only expressing my opinion.
For about the past six months, I have been searching for a church home. The search has been off and on and quite a tedious journey. I was raised in the church and about a year ago God worked on my heart and delivered me from being caught up in religion. Prior to my deliverance, I was just going through the motions. I went to church EVERY Sunday, sat in the third row, studied, memorized scriptures, sat still and quiet, never "caught the spirit", never asked or expressed my needs/prayers publicly,etc. This all left me feeling so trapped and unfilled.Still, I did it Sunday after Sunday, partly because it was all I knew and partly because of my "church hurt". Hurt that came from stares, looks, expectations, and so on and so forth.
We must realize that pain and hurt are inevitable, even within our churches. We do however serve a God who can redeem us from our "church hurt", one who can guide us and lead us into and era of churches that heal more and hurt less. Often times we run from the painful things in life. Think about it, you don't rush to the doctor to get a shot or get excited at the thought of losing a loved one. This is especially the case with "church hurt". I must admit that running was an original thought of mine along with questions like: "Why are God's people treating me this way?" and even "Where are you God?" Thankfully, God came to my rescue and redefined my definition of church, while reminding me that His grace is sufficient even through the pains and hurts sometimes inflicted at church. Here are a few things to consider about "church hurt":
1. The church is a hospital (sick room) full of imperfect people who serve a perfect God. Sometimes our own sickness(sinfulness) causes us to inflict pain on our brothers and sisters in Christ. We have all sinned and fallen short of His glory(Romans 3:23).
2. We cannot allow our pain to drive us away from the church. We are called to live in community with other believers. It is unhealthy for us not to be in communion with like-minded people striving to serve our God(Acts 2:42). How will we ever receive care if we never go to the hospital?
3. No church is perfect AND it is unhealthy for us to be apart of churches that are not constantly striving to improve in every aspect. In other words, find a church that fits you, where you can grow, and that works through hurts as a community.
4. Our "church hurt" does not reflect how God feels about us as His children! That being said, we cannot let the imperfection of man and our churches drive us away from our God.
5. We cannot chose who and what to forgive. Forgiveness is definitely a "Just Do It" type of thing. Why? Because we are called to forgive as we have been forgiven(Matthew 6:14). Believe it or not this applies to our "church hurt" as well. We forgive because we love The Lord and trust His commandments, not out of weakness or anything of that matter.
6. Our "church hurt" is not going away, but there is hope! Problems and hurt have been around since the early churches(see 1 Corinthians) and they will be around until the end of time. Hope is found in our Lord who has given us the power to overcome through Him(John 16:33).
7.God uses our "church hurt" to remind us of our brokenness. It is an opportunity for us to trust and rely on Him, to draw closer.
We all have had our share of "church hurt", some greater than others. I pray that you allow God to use yours to draw you closer to Him. Our God is so faithful and He never leaves our side, even when we are facing the pain,isolation, and fear of the church!
Peace & Love,
Brittany
Friday, March 1, 2013
Self-Injury Awareness Day 2013(SIAD)
Hey fam!
Today, March 1,2013 is Self-Injury Awareness Day(SIAD). Self-injury or self harming is when a person deliberately hurts themselves physically to deal with the emotional pain they are suffering. Self-injury does not see gender, age, or even race as a barrier. People of all ages, races, and backgrounds participate in self-injury. However, an alarming rate of young people partake in self-harm. Still the topic remains "taboo" in the church,our youth groups, etc. If we as the body of Christ continue to be silent about real life issues, we miss out on the opportunity to shed our God's love, hope,and truth in dark situations. We also harm those with in our community of faith who are hurting and struggling with the harsh reality of self-harm. Believe it or not, the girl you sat next to at Wednesday night Bible study could be self-harming.Would she be able to find refuge there if she admitted it? It saddens me to realize that she most likely would be ridiculed and/or associated with a stigma. It saddens me even more to see how we as Christian tend to ignore the very things that the adversary uses to plague those around us! We are the salt and light of this world if we don't speak and stand up who will? We cannot afford to be silent and leave so many in the dark and painful world of self-harm. Today is solely dedicated to making ourselves and others aware of self-harm and the stigmas associated with it. Yet, I am convinced that days like today are only the beginning. We must continue to educate ourselves and others on issues around self-harm. Most importantly, we have to use the power of Christ within us to get out and do something about it! As I always say, start small. Below I have listed some resources including helplines and websites. I hope that you will consider the impacts of self-harm today and everyday.
Peace & Love,
Brittany
***Start with the people close to you, ask the hard questions. Get the necessary help if you or someone you care about is struggling. Strive to be resourceful. There is hope and healing and the source is our Savior!***
Scriptures to Check Out:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5 NIV)
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. (Proverbs 23:18 NIV)
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:13, 15, 16 NIV)
Websites/Hopelines:
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_children_young_people/whats_worrying_you/self-harm
http://www.lifesigns.org.uk/
http://bandbacktogether.com/how-to-help-friend-self-injury/
1-800-DON-TCUT
1-800-273-TALK
Today, March 1,2013 is Self-Injury Awareness Day(SIAD). Self-injury or self harming is when a person deliberately hurts themselves physically to deal with the emotional pain they are suffering. Self-injury does not see gender, age, or even race as a barrier. People of all ages, races, and backgrounds participate in self-injury. However, an alarming rate of young people partake in self-harm. Still the topic remains "taboo" in the church,our youth groups, etc. If we as the body of Christ continue to be silent about real life issues, we miss out on the opportunity to shed our God's love, hope,and truth in dark situations. We also harm those with in our community of faith who are hurting and struggling with the harsh reality of self-harm. Believe it or not, the girl you sat next to at Wednesday night Bible study could be self-harming.Would she be able to find refuge there if she admitted it? It saddens me to realize that she most likely would be ridiculed and/or associated with a stigma. It saddens me even more to see how we as Christian tend to ignore the very things that the adversary uses to plague those around us! We are the salt and light of this world if we don't speak and stand up who will? We cannot afford to be silent and leave so many in the dark and painful world of self-harm. Today is solely dedicated to making ourselves and others aware of self-harm and the stigmas associated with it. Yet, I am convinced that days like today are only the beginning. We must continue to educate ourselves and others on issues around self-harm. Most importantly, we have to use the power of Christ within us to get out and do something about it! As I always say, start small. Below I have listed some resources including helplines and websites. I hope that you will consider the impacts of self-harm today and everyday.
Peace & Love,
Brittany
***Start with the people close to you, ask the hard questions. Get the necessary help if you or someone you care about is struggling. Strive to be resourceful. There is hope and healing and the source is our Savior!***
Scriptures to Check Out:
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18 NIV)
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed. (Isaiah 53:5 NIV)
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. (Proverbs 23:18 NIV)
“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven. (Matthew 5:13, 15, 16 NIV)
Websites/Hopelines:
http://www.youngminds.org.uk/for_children_young_people/whats_worrying_you/self-harm
http://www.lifesigns.org.uk/
http://bandbacktogether.com/how-to-help-friend-self-injury/
1-800-DON-TCUT
1-800-273-TALK
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)