Healing Starts Small: Confessions of a Small Group Leader: Part II

Hey fam!

It's a Thursday afternoon and I am at home, staring out of my bedroom window.Honestly, it has been quite some time since I have had the opportunity just to gaze upon our Lord's creation, to find joy in even the smallest of moments even the sad, rare moments. Just earlier today I attended a funeral and now just looking at the sunshine from my bedroom window, I know she is at rest and that God will heal her family and loved ones just as He always does and it might start as small as this sunshine. I know you are thinking, "What does this have to do with small group life?" And honestly I would have wondered the same thing a few weeks ago. I went into my group thinking that if any type of growth or healing took place, it would be drastic, large-scale, and nothing short of a miracle. I was wrong.

Sometimes I think it's convenient for us to mold God's words and promises according to our views of things, which is not always eternal. It's no surprise that enemy tends to take this advantage of this situation. So, when my group members weren't all racing to teach, lead, write their own studies,etc.; I took it as The Lord not keeping His promises of drawing near to His people when we seek Him and of providing us with wisdom.When we would end our studies and my group members weren't confessing that they had come out of some type of an addiction or stopped committing   some "major" sin, or released a major resentment,etc.; I took it as God not keeping His promise of healing. It didn't take me long to realize that I was ALL wrong because all of the promises of God are a yes in Christ Jesus (see 2 Corinthians 1:20). The thing is this: God keeps His promises and fulfills them according to His plan and purpose, not mine, not yours, but His. 

The case was no different within my group and when I look closely over the course of the group, God has been healing and working since the second we got started. My friends will tell you I'm a list maker and I decided to make one of the ways God is at work in the group.It's one of those things I keep for the days when the enemy tries to get all in my heart and head. Here are just a few things on the list(names have been changed):

1. We are still together!

-It's only been about four months, but the enemy has tried to put an end to us in so many ways.

2. God is teaching us to trust His plans above ours.

-Everything doesn't go our way, our events get moved and canceled, people don't show, etc. AND God continues to do something in the midst of the mess.

3. God is healing Nathan's heart of running from community because of who He is.

-He is learning slowly, but surely that He can find community with the people of God.

4. God is is healing Kimberly's heart of not wanting to even be around other Christians at all.

-It is taking time, but God is softening her heart day by day.

5. God is healing Michelle's heart of trying so hard to be the perfect Christian and of feeling intimidated by other Christians who seem to "have it together".

- She is learning that God's love for her is truly unconditional and that all she has to do is continue to seek Him, even when she messes up, that she has such a powerful testimony and is so capable at being who God has called her to be.

6. God is teaching Cameron that He cannot escape the love of Christ and that God never leaves Him.

7. God is healing John's heart of being 100% self-reliant and "perfect".

-He is learning that it is alright to open up and that God will still love Him just the same if He struggles, that God can and will use Him in spite of.

8. God is healing my heart of needing so much control.

- I'm learning that God's plan never fails and that I can rest in it. 

9. God is teaching us that love is so powerful.

- It is His love and our love for each other that keeps us together through thick, thin, and real thin.

10. God is teaching us that we were never created to do life alone and that community isn't easy, but worth it.

- This has been a hard pill to swallow, but as I texted the group a few nights ago: "We need each other and that's that."

The things above only provide a glimpse of what God can do with just a small group of people after His heart. Notice, I used the present tense because I refuse to believe He's finished with us. Tonight, especially after the day I have had, I will go into Bible Study with the group remembering that healing starts as small as sunshine coming through a bedroom window.

P.S- I'll be back with more Confessions of a Small Group Leader soon.

Peace & Love,

Brittany 

Confessions of a Small Group Leader: Part 1

Hey fam!

 It has been awhile since I posted. Today and over the next few blogs I would like to discuss small group life. About five months ago,The Lord led me to start a small group with a few of my friends/young people(especially athletes) in my city. It has been such a journey from then to now. There have been tons of laughs and even some tears, but it has been worth it. Here are some of my confessions of a small group leader:

1. I think in the back of my mind somewhere I had the idea that covenants,creeds, and icebreakers would magically create community within my group. I mean why wouldn't they? All of the books and trainings encourage these things and they are indeed essential. However,they do NOT breed community. Experience breeds community, the love of Christ breeds community, walking with people through the hell and pain that life sometimes throws at us breeds community,time breeds community.

2. I thought that structure was everything, it's not. In fact, it will drive group members crazy and even though it is hard for me to back off of having things exactly like this or that, I would much rather have less structure and a whole lot of Christ and His work within the group.

3.Anytime you have a group of people together there will be conflict, issues with making group meetings,etc. I believed that I was doing something wrong when people started to miss meetings, come late,etc.  Looking back over things I realize that it wasn't my fault, things just happen that are outside of my control. It is my responsibility to seek God's heart as a leader and to give my best effort. The rest is in His hands, not mine.

 

4. I thought I had to be in "leader mode" in order to be taken seriously. I was caught up in all of the things I had read and heard about leading a group. For example, "Selective Sharing", which is the idea that you share selectively in order not to promote a sin or struggle. I am not bashing the concept, only suggesting that in my case it lead to me not sharing at all or feeling guilty when I did share, ask for prayer,etc. I realize now that just because I am the leader doesn't make me need Jesus or the community  of my group any less. I think it makes me need him more. Furthermore, how can I expect my group members to practice things like transparency, authenticity, etc. if I don't do this myself.

5. I think the first time I heard of Ephesians 6 was in Pre-K. We made armor of God suits and such in VBS. Over a decade later, I went into leading the group seeing the battle as one against people(flesh and blood). Praise God that He changes hearts! The group is living proof that the battle is truly against the powers of the darkness and not flesh and blood. Let's just say we have had quite our share of the enemy trying to infiltrate our group.

I am going to leave my confessions here for today.My small group has a long way to go and so do I as a leader. Thankfully, we serve a God who is both faithful and full of grace.

Peace & Love,

Brittany