It's a Thursday afternoon and I am at home, staring out of my bedroom window.Honestly, it has been quite some time since I have had the opportunity just to gaze upon our Lord's creation, to find joy in even the smallest of moments even the sad, rare moments. Just earlier today I attended a funeral and now just looking at the sunshine from my bedroom window, I know she is at rest and that God will heal her family and loved ones just as He always does and it might start as small as this sunshine. I know you are thinking, "What does this have to do with small group life?" And honestly I would have wondered the same thing a few weeks ago. I went into my group thinking that if any type of growth or healing took place, it would be drastic, large-scale, and nothing short of a miracle. I was wrong.
Sometimes I think it's convenient for us to mold God's words and promises according to our views of things, which is not always eternal. It's no surprise that enemy tends to take this advantage of this situation. So, when my group members weren't all racing to teach, lead, write their own studies,etc.; I took it as The Lord not keeping His promises of drawing near to His people when we seek Him and of providing us with wisdom.When we would end our studies and my group members weren't confessing that they had come out of some type of an addiction or stopped committing some "major" sin, or released a major resentment,etc.; I took it as God not keeping His promise of healing. It didn't take me long to realize that I was ALL wrong because all of the promises of God are a yes in Christ Jesus (see 2 Corinthians 1:20). The thing is this: God keeps His promises and fulfills them according to His plan and purpose, not mine, not yours, but His.
The case was no different within my group and when I look closely over the course of the group, God has been healing and working since the second we got started. My friends will tell you I'm a list maker and I decided to make one of the ways God is at work in the group.It's one of those things I keep for the days when the enemy tries to get all in my heart and head. Here are just a few things on the list(names have been changed):
1. We are still together!
-It's only been about four months, but the enemy has tried to put an end to us in so many ways.
2. God is teaching us to trust His plans above ours.
-Everything doesn't go our way, our events get moved and canceled, people don't show, etc. AND God continues to do something in the midst of the mess.
3. God is healing Nathan's heart of running from community because of who He is.
-He is learning slowly, but surely that He can find community with the people of God.
4. God is is healing Kimberly's heart of not wanting to even be around other Christians at all.
-It is taking time, but God is softening her heart day by day.
5. God is healing Michelle's heart of trying so hard to be the perfect Christian and of feeling intimidated by other Christians who seem to "have it together".
- She is learning that God's love for her is truly unconditional and that all she has to do is continue to seek Him, even when she messes up, that she has such a powerful testimony and is so capable at being who God has called her to be.
6. God is teaching Cameron that He cannot escape the love of Christ and that God never leaves Him.
7. God is healing John's heart of being 100% self-reliant and "perfect".
-He is learning that it is alright to open up and that God will still love Him just the same if He struggles, that God can and will use Him in spite of.
8. God is healing my heart of needing so much control.
- I'm learning that God's plan never fails and that I can rest in it.
9. God is teaching us that love is so powerful.
- It is His love and our love for each other that keeps us together through thick, thin, and real thin.
10. God is teaching us that we were never created to do life alone and that community isn't easy, but worth it.
- This has been a hard pill to swallow, but as I texted the group a few nights ago: "We need each other and that's that."
The things above only provide a glimpse of what God can do with just a small group of people after His heart. Notice, I used the present tense because I refuse to believe He's finished with us. Tonight, especially after the day I have had, I will go into Bible Study with the group remembering that healing starts as small as sunshine coming through a bedroom window.
P.S- I'll be back with more Confessions of a Small Group Leader soon.
Peace & Love,
Brittany
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